Monday, June 15, 2009

Toad or Frog


Among witches there is an age old question we’re forced to ask ourselves (Some more often than others)…a question that has vexed us for centuries.

Frog or Toad….

Recently a “short-life” we’ll call “Dennis” has in his plodding human way managed to insult me. Dennis needs to be taught a lesson and again I come to the corundum.

Should Dennis spend the rest of his existence as a pond loving frog or a toad hiding under a rock?

As a “maker” of many toads and frogs over my twelve years (317 and 314 respectively) I feel the need to increase my toading to being up to equal my frogging. Thus I need to turn three more people into toads.

Still there is something to be said about a good frogging. The smell of ozone in the air as green lighting from your finger dances through the air striking the target of your annoyance.

The last look of terror their human face will ever have.
The smell of wet as their excess mass steams away leaving them a frog.

Frogging also offers more color options, greens, yellows, bright blues and reds…

Not to take away from toading.

It’s a classic and classics deserver your respect.

I remember, I was three when I toaded my first person, it was…one of my father’s personal guards. He was guarding the door at the ministry of war during a meeting. I had just made a two headed bunny-squid and wanted to show my father what I have done.

Guard: Sorry your highness the Emperor cannot be disturbed.
Me: But I wanted to show him my bunny
Guard: What Bunny?
Me: This One (Shows bunny)
Guard: Merciful mother…What is that!
Me: That’s not nice…Mr. Bunny has feelings…Change!
Guard: Croak!
Me: Now Mr. Bunny is so depressed he needs a snack..look Mr. Bunny a fat toad!
Mr. Bunny: Gurggle-Chomp

OH the joy of child hood….. remembering that has made me nostalgic…so my quest is over…Toad it is.

23 comments:

Kate said...

Well, I`m not a big fan of the classics, I always think it is kinda unoriginal.
But hey, if that makes me look better in your eyes: Yay, turn him into a toad, woohoo!

Dennis said...

don't i get a fair trial in this due process and what not?

ConfusedDave said...

Classics are good, I agree. But I'd have to choose frog in this case: more colors and such sounds like fun. Maybe a multi-color frog, if I could be so bold, so you cover more of the colors on your choosen frog victim.

Plus, you're one closer to your frog vs toad count being equal, only two to go that way.

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

Dennis you are right...you do deserve a trail.
And as fair Princess of the Empire I will allow you that....

Guilty of all crimes.....now decide Toad or Frog.

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

Sigh Kate...does the Princess have to melt a Peasent to prove a point?

Kate said...

Uhm, you don`t mean me with peasent, right? If you do, then no, better not melt a peasent! That seems like a really bad idea to me! Better concentrate on that frog and toad thing, right?

ConfusedDave said...

Faster trial then anything our current worthless legal systems can do. Avoids the misfortune of lawyers too, they're just a waste of time.

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

No Kate the trail is for Dennis.

And your Legal system is lacking.
My world was a caste system.
The Low bloods (Like most of you) would never see court the local lord or magistrate would just punish you for a crime if they thought you did it.

And you could never bring charges against anyone of a higher caste.

Kate said...

Ahh, how could I misunderstand that? Well, I`m blond, so there.

So, I have a question: was there anyone in your world who was of a higher caste besides you and your family?

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

Good Question Kate (A rare thing among your kind)

No, we we're as high as you could get.

My Parents ruled the empire and I and My sister were the Princesses.

Dennis said...

I forgot what I'm on trial for I bet your easily annoyed from lack of sleep what you should do is get your self a warm glass of milk and sleep it off then you'll have a more refreshed view of everything always helps me out ya know

Kate said...

I admire Dennis audacity.

So, how big was this empire? Was it, like, a country? Does that mean there were other countries with other rulers out there?? Or were you more like the ruler of a whole continent?

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

It was 12 worlds
in 4 diffrent dimensions

Kate said...

Wow, thats a lot of empire oO Impressive!

So, you said that was a good question. A compliment from the Princess is such an honour :) Do I get a rward for my good behavior?? Like, a cookie or something?

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

Very well... Change
(Turns Kate into a Cookie)

Kate said...

Noooooooo! That must be the worst reward ever. Please don`t eat me, oh mighty Princess Lucinda :( I assure you, I taste terrible.

ConfusedDave said...

Turned into a cookie, a well-rounded change I think. Must be careful what you say here, it seems.

(Also waits to see results of frog vs toad for Dennis.)

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

Kate. When I yurn people into cookies they tendy to be very tsteful cookies....

(Conjures a Glass of milk)

But just to be sure...shall we have a bite?

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

Dennis has yet to decide.

Kate said...

What, he actually gets to decide what he is turned into?? Unfair!

Well, ok, I see your point. But, uhm, isn`t it much more beneficial for you to have good slave than a good cookie? I mean, I am young and full of energy and would do anything for you if you don`t eat me. You can`t possibly be that hungry!

Princess Lucinda Nightbane said...

Bah.....
(Snaps finger changing Kate back)

who wants groveling food (laughter)

Kate said...

Oh, you are so absolutely right, Princess Lucinda! Nobody would like that! What a wise choice, fitting for such a smart person *nervous smile*

Dennis said...

So IF I have yet to decide and I do not actually decide to become a fat toad do I get away unscathed is this a catch 22 situation? do I somehow win by never deciding

Groveling Humans