Dear groveling mortals. I have moved my online presence to facebook. Please join me there at http://www.facebook.com/Obeytheprincess You may now return to your boring hum-drum lives

In the next few weeks their will be big changes for our favorite Princess.
We are moving her to her own website.There you'll find info about her upcoming comic, galleries, onlinecomics and more.
We are still trying to determine what to do with thid blog, it may be moved to the new website or remain here.
Also there is big news brewing as Lucinda may be jumping to the big screen..... I said enough.
If you have suggestions or questions let us know
-Channel M.

Ian's Cousins and Good Deeds

Yesterday Ian calls me and says his cousins are over and driving him crazy and would I save him.

He should no better than to make such poorly worded requests from me . The Mischief I could have made would be legendary and horrendous but I decided to be...nice and just teleport over to see what was the problem.

Bending space I winked from my room to his door step faster than human apelike thought and knocked. His parents are delightful people (In a human way) and despite their gushing and the mothers attempt to "Fatten me up" quite tolerable.

"Lucy come in”, says the father a tall and handsome stage actor who I can only hope is a sign of what Ian will one day grow into . I look about and see the mundane and clean living room and smelt the homemade blintzes n the air.
“Honey, Look its little Lucy”, says the man at my side to his wife in the kitchen. Ian’s mother is dark haired like most of the family but her eyes are green and there is a slight tan to her skin. She unlike the rest of his family I learned was born in Israel
“ערב טוב גב”, I say In my best Hewbrew (That’s good morning Madame English)
She looks at me and smiles. “Hello Dear, Ian is up stairs with his cousins”
She walks over to me toweling off her hand and leans over to kiss me on the cheek “Run, they’re the spawn of darkness” she says just loud enough for all three of us to hear.
Her eyes formed a half scowl, “They’re not that bad”.
“They shaved the dog, destroyed half of the dining room carpet and sat ire to my rises out back, they are pure evil”, said the woman hands on hip.
“The’ they’re my brother’s kids”, The man looked as serious as
I ever seen him, which is to say not very serious, “They are a little rambunctious is all”
“Lucy, you are too sweet a girl for those ruffians, maybe you should come back later”, the woman’s words held a true concern for my well being and cemented my resolve helot straighten everything out.
“I can take care of myself”, I said heading towards the stairs.
“Our daughter thought the same thing, they shaved her head last night, she’s locked in her room, I’m making the Blintzes to coax her out”.

Ian’s sister was no push over, she was 4 years older then us and what you would call “Goth”. I always thought if she was born under different circumstances she would make a serviceable witch. I looked at her room door as I walked down the hall. Just past it was Ian’s and from the inside I heard the sound of his video game system, loud laughter and the smelt pickled cucumbers. Softly I knocked.
After almost a minute the door opened a tall boy a little older than me with a blond buzz-cut,, freckles a stripped green and red t-shirt and jeans looked down at me.
“We’re busy in here”, he roared half eaten pickle in hand.
“I’m here to see Ian”, I commanded walking past him.
Ian is a notorious neatnik. His encyclopedic organizational skills were a thing of near awe. Today however his normally clean room was a mess. His books, comics, games, dolls (He called them action figures) laid about some broken or torn., Two boys looking almost exactly like the one that answered the door sat on the floor playing the video game. Ian sat on his bed covered in silver –grey tape from knees to shoulder. His mouth also covered. Next to him a young blond boy a few years my junior sat poking Ian with a coat hanger every few seconds.
“Mmmmfffmmmmm”, he said., my translation spell instantly let me knew he was saying “Look out behind you”
“You must be I-dorks girl”, said a voice behind me as a make shift rope made of dirty socks came over my head pinning my hands together .
“I-dork has a girl friend”, said one of the other boys playing the game turning to see me.
“She thinks she’s a vampire, look at how’s she’s dressed”, said the boy who had bound my arms to my side. I need to see them to cast my spell and by happenstance they stayed behind me. Still the one poking Ian with the clothing hanger was free and If It turned him into a fire breathing Chimera he could easily eat the others.

“Ch…”, I started to say as Silver Tape was wrapped around my mouth.
The boy then tossed me on the bed and propped me up next to Ian.
“I tried to warn you”, my spell translated Ian’s next words.
“He look what I got, The blond boy held up my purse.
“Dibs”, said the hanger poker leaping off the bed and grabbing it.
“Can’t you do something? Turn them into oatmeal?”, asked Ian.
“Not while I’m like this”, I responded knowing he couldn’t understand me.
By accident they had disciple a witch in the simplest fashion, binding her hands and taking her ability to speak. Still there was simple magics I could perform as long as I could see.
“I can’t open it”, said the smaller boy tugging on my purse then banging it on the side of a chest of drawers.
The larger one pulled it from his hands and tried to open it, “Give me that you spaz”
He tugged on it for a while and the other two sitting rose to give it a try.
“What kinda lock is this”, one said.
“I got an idea”, said the other reaching into his pocket and pulling a small pen knife.
With a look of glee he stabbed at my purse shattering his blade, ”What the….” He looked at the broken knife then at me.
“Ok dracula, how do we open it !”
I sat silently glaring at him.
“Make her open it”, said one another one”, The boy walked towards me and rolled me to my feet.
“Hey don’t untie her”, said the little one, “I wanted to cut her hair”
“Don’t worry, we can hold her down while you play barber shop.”, said the one from the door with a gap tooth smiled he shared with his two near twins and young sibling..
The one with the knife loosened my bonds I felt the blood flow back into my lower arms.
“Open it up Skinny”, he said handing me my purse.
“She looks rich, I bet she has some cool stuff inside”, said one of the other boys with greedy eyes.

I smiled under my gag and gestured, instantly all of us were in my room.
“What just happened”, said the little boy.
I waved my gag away into nothing, “
You made a mistake you will to your sorrow live to regret”, I said gesturing Ian free of his bonds.
“Where are we”, said the one with the broken knife looking about nervous.
“My room you silly simpletons” , I spoke crossing my arms. “Now who’s first”
“Thank you Lucinda”, Ian smiled sweetly at me as he spoke and then turned towards his cousins “Oh you guys are in trouble”
“Shut up I-dork before I pop you in the jaw”, the boy that bound me looked at Ian
Ian stepped back hands up in a placating manner, “Hey I was just letting you know “.
“Know what?”, One of the other older cousin looked about.
“This “ I said pointing at him twisting him inside out and outside in till he looked like a line of taffy being stretched and folded in mid air almost faster than the eye could follow.

“Crap”, cried the younger boy as he moved towards the door.
“Change” I said pointing at him turning him into a small blue tree frog in mid jump.
The Other boys looked on horrified.
‘You’re a..”, one started to say
“Yeah she’s a witch”, said Ian, “And only a witch but a really scary super powerful one”
I giggled opened my purse and took a red cigarette holder and poined it at one of the remaining boys, “Change”, I said the boy vanished as a lit cigarette appeared in my holder.
“All of the above and annoyed”, I said to the last boy as I held out my free hand near his taffy pulled brother . The stretched and pulled boy shrunk until he was the size of a piece of candy and with a “Change” so he was.
“ Hey you can’t do this”, the last one whom name I never got (and didn’t care to know” looked at me with the proper amount of fear.
“Oh yes I can you dirty ill mannered Peasant”, I looked down at him and smiled with contempt.
“You’re just a girl “ he mumbled looking about unable to grasp his situation fully.
“No I’m a Princess, you’re the blubbering girl…Change” and as if its always been that way he was a girl dressed in a frilly dress his…her long blond dress in hair bows and the thoughts of flowers, sunny days and unicorns running through what passed for a mind”

I would like to say that was the end of their punishment, but it wasn’t I had most of the day to teach them the errors of touching my person and bring grief to Ian (That’s my job thank you very much). Sadly however I had to return them to normal and return them and Ian back to their room. I left a proper curse on each and everyone one of them so if They ever acted out towards Ian or his family they would first go permanently bald, than gain cankers on their bodies, then a finger will rot off and once all the fingers were gone their toes would follow and lastly they would turn to piles of goats dung.

After I sent Ian home I sat looking at mirror watching the boys try to convince themselves nothing had happened. One of the older ones tried to prove his point by pushing Ian on to his bed, the others laughed and all of those I cursed went bald on the spot.

I think I’m finally starting to get a hold ff this good-deed thing. My sister will be so proud when I tell her, or when she reads this.

The Politics of world Domination.

A mortal song I enjoy said it best "First we take manhattan, then we take berlin"
The Darkspire was not built in a day and neither are plans of conquest.

This is why I'm taking my time.
You hairless apes need to be aculmated to my way of doing things first before I unleash my "Endless Iron Reign" upon you all.

So Part one about to go full ahead with the publishing of my life story in graphic novel form. This six issue limited series will be by my minions at Channel M Publishing.





The Artists Vero and JP Dupras are very good and showing my world and need very little in the way of incentiver to get things right. I only had to melt them once so far.

Along with the Graphic novel series of my past adventures will come pne about my me and my BWFF Annabelle.




And lastly My life on what you call film.
I bet you didn't see that coming.
Its stioll in the early stages but one of youtr Hollywood starletts has actually auditioned to play me and more will come although I must admit the first one is my choice.
now I'll give you a get out of doom free pass if you can guess who that is.

More to come.
Obey me...
or else

The Princess vs. The World

Even I must admit the world revolves without me.

Upon returning to my home and my computer
I discovered this

http://www.comicvine.com/princess-lucinda-nightbane/29-63395/

A mortal website that not only has information on me but it
through voting pits me against various super powered beings.

I gre bored reading through the lists of caped muscled bound
idgets and patheticly dressed and desined heroines.

Still I feel I must defeat them all
So I'm leaving that up to you.

Vote for me..or else...

I don't think I need to go into what or else is.

Obey your Princess.

The Other Sister

Hello.
My sister is currently having a sleep over at her friend Oliva (aka magiceyes02) and has charged me with posting for her.

Here exact words were "Amuse the short-lives"
Knowing here that could mean anything from an amusing story to turning the lot of you into snail droppings (Although I'm not sure snails have droppings).

I'm sorry for any trouble my sister has caused. She's a petulant and precocious girl and has been for some time.

But I love her and despite the fact she's done some truly horrible things always will love her. And trust me when I say you haven't seen the worse of her. In fact she's really mellowed. Now picture her say age 4, about a third as powerful as she is now but still powerful enough to turn you into a two headed duck with a snap of the finger.

Now picture my little sister being forced to attend her first Princess Ball. For those of you who don't know a Princess Ball is a dancing/banquet /social event where the Princesses of the empire (Me and Lucinda) would host the other young noble ladies of the empire and their escorts.

Sounds like fun? It can be if you get past all the snippy teen and preteen noble ladies. Well this was Lucinda's first Ball and she didn't want to go.
You See Lucinda was at the time fascinated with a Circs troop that was visiting our home and had watched every performance and wanted to be there for the next one.

But Duty calls and after going through 3 nanny's and 17 royal dressers it was my mother and I who eventually dressed her and got her to the banquet hall in my palace.
(Lucinda and I each had our own Palace, think of them as private wings of the main castle but with its own staff, guard and so on).

Being our empire covered so many worlds there were hundreds of guest noble-girls and their escorts and other visiting dignitaries children. It was the place to be for young nobles. And things were going well till Lucinda was introduced.

Lucinda at the time wasn't the most agile little girl and tripped on her gown. Laughing at the second Princess of the Empire wasn't something one did but someone in the rear snickered...and another, and another till soon half the hall was laughing.

Lucinda stood straightened her crown and started pointing and changing. The Theme of the Change was of course the Circus. By the time I managed to calm her Man eating Manticore, Winged Serpents, Giant Mammoths and Land Sharks were stomping and devouring their way through a panicked crowd.

Thankfully I, The guards and a few of the more magically adept young ladies managed to corral the creatures before more than a few dozen perished.

Lucinda was grounded for a week in her Palace by my parents as ruffled noble feathers were sooth. And the person who started the laughter was found and Placed in the "Soul Engine" (You don't want to know what that is..you think you do but you don't)

Not long after that my Parents limited my Sisters Royal duties to smaller solo events and events were I or they were present.

I hope you find that amusing...If not I guess I could turn a few of you into snails...or mind control you into acting out a few episodes of "Grey Anatomy while dressed as my favorite Anime characters.

The 4th of July...celebrating a rebellion isn't a great idea.

Human Holidays, especially ones in America often vex me.

Either your celebrating peace and joy, or someone dying or someone dying for peace and joy or war or the end of war…. And so on.. It’s positively psychotic.

Having parents killed in a Rebellion of peasants and near-do wells I’m not amused by the fact you celebrate rebellion on the 4th of July. In fact I think it’ll be the first thing I’ll do away with after I take very your world.

I understand the history behind it and the entire, “No taxation without representation” situation. But there is never a need for rebellion against lawfully and divinely placed nobility and royalty.

You are peasants; you are here to toil for us. Understand your lot in life and accept it.

On my world we made sure our peasants knew their place. We had each of them sear loyalty every 5 years to us in person. Billions filing through on staggered yearly rotations to bow before us by the hundred of thousands in a court year reciting a binding magical contract to do our bidding.

Failure to do so would result in the loss of all rights and properties for life and a stay in the black salt mine or the sea of rot dredging camps for you and your immediate family.

How I miss the sound of the oath echoing across the air to my ears like a praise of thunder.

My sister said we your way of allowing people to voice dissenting views is a better way. My sister is just enamored with your primitive concepts like one is enamored with the flittering of bugs.

I find the whole free speech concept annoying and short sighted.
But then again you are flawed creatures and have much to learn.

Epic Level.....totally overrated.

First a warning…any kissing noises, romantic innuendo or jumping to conclusion about my relationship with Ian will end in your utter destruction. I will personal and painfully ground to dust under my thumb. I will then use said dust as fertilizer for my herb garden.
You’ve been warned-

I forget how boring mortal lives are. In your seventy to eighty of years of life you are born, live and die in a world without magic or true adventure. Yes a rare few of you climb some silly mountain or travel to some dead moon but that’s infrequent. Most of you toil in obscurity doomed to a life so full of mediocrity I almost (and the operative world is “almost”) pity you.

Ian, a young boy who knows my secret and who like many of my other associates see it as their duty to school me in the ways of this world invited me for a day of “Dungeons and Dragons”

To be honest I h,ad no idea what he meant, back home we had dungeons..miles of them under the castle entire generations living in them and born into them never knowing the outside world. And we had Dragons…Ranging in size from the flitting miniature dragons about the size of a small dog used as pets, the core of our air force the regal riding drake and the massive ancient dragons some half a mile long from nose to the tip of the tail.

Arriving I’m greeted by Ian and a few of his friends including a girl named Shelly who seemed to be an authority on everything. Before I said I word she was, “Nice Shoes, I saw them on EBay last night, and that purse and I bet you got it from Hot-topic” followed by, “I heard you go to a private school in Maine, I think Private school retards social interaction”…

I looked about for a Dragon hoping it would devour her but was disappointed. Ian upon seeing I was upset made the “face“ . The face is unique to him and basicly means “Please don’t do something horrible to that person place or thing”.

After returning his “face” with a glare that said “Fine but if she annoys me again I’ll melt her into pudding” we retreated into the house basement were a table sat supplied with the makings of a small war game of some kind.

War games I understood, My father played them all the time with his generals and cronies in a large room in the fittingly named “War-room”. Mother would even join in from time to time especially of the war game called for advance magical troops like war-witches or combat wizards. It was fun to watch and upon seeing the Set up in Ian’s basement I felt a flash of happy nostalgia.

That all ended when I realized their mundane game didn’t have changeable magic terrain or animated miniatures. Not that I expected such but it would have been nice. It seems the war game “Dungeons and Dragons” involved a group of Adventures battling monsters for honor, glory and treasure.

Back on my world we had something like that, only real. It was the Adventures guild. Eccletic groups of trained warriors, priest, tricksters , magician and the like would join the guild and gain points for successfully batting rogue elements in the empire, exploring ancient ruins and other forms of daring do. The guild would take a small founders fee for telling the groups were adventure can be found and the empire a small tax. It was very much like a professional sport with more famous groups having licensing deals for toys, or attire.

Ian it seems ran the game and wanted me to make a character. Looking at the simple rules and seeing it as a chance at least in a silly mundane way to relive my world I created a character based on my aunt Gertrude a War Witch. (Which it seems wasn’t a class so I had to combine Fighter and Sorcerer). Nor did it have “Highblood” as a race.
Speaking of…..

For a world full of magic (Although its make –believe” the game world is lacking in racial diversity.
Back on my world we have.
Lowbloods-Humans
High Bloods- My people all magically inclined ,long lived and cunning
Shide: The Pointed eared , graceful masters of the woods and nature magic
Banshide: The Shides underground dwelling mischief inclined cousins and masters of shadow sorcery.
Grat: a Short lived brute servant race. Not smart but tough
Iron Kin: Industrious master of clock work inventions.
Aquian: Water/amphibious merfolk.
Beast Blood: The sylvan animal like cousins of the Aquinas.
Rolzon: Decedents of the titans a fearless race of incredible strong and fast warriors
Thrice: Elegent and lithe race of natural psychics.
And that’s not counting the faery folk, goblins, giants, and other brute races and rare.
races.

So Hexxina Crimson (Named after both my grandmothers) represented on the battle map by a ..lets call it unrealistically endowed lump of lead went into battle

It was boring, unrealistic (No goblin can take that many blows and lets not start on the magic). The others seem to enjoy it though especially Shelly who played a Wizard and in game was just much a know it all as she was out of it often arguing with Ian over the games rules.

Half way through the game Hexxina managed to slay…a giant badger through cunning and a few well placed simple spells. Everyone but Shelly praised my cunning (as they should). The girl playing at being a wizard decided to make things personal and accused Ian of going easy on me.

Ian is a lot of things, naive, nebbish and neurotic but unfair he’s not . Ian protested Shelly threatened to leave and I helped her just do that….Poof, a one way trip to the city zoo Dingo cage.

Ian rolled his eyes, the other boys had no idea what had happened (Although eventually they decided Shelly was playing some kind of disappearing prank).

I must admit after Shelly was done away with the game was less boring (less like watching snails move across the floor more like watching ice melt).

(That evening Shelly was on the evening news. Seems she was rescued and recovering in a local hospital under medical and psychiatric care…good for her)

Toad or Frog

Among witches there is an age old question we’re forced to ask ourselves (Some more often than others)…a question that has vexed us for centuries.

Frog or Toad….

Recently a “short-life” we’ll call “Dennis” has in his plodding human way managed to insult me. Dennis needs to be taught a lesson and again I come to the corundum.

Should Dennis spend the rest of his existence as a pond loving frog or a toad hiding under a rock?

As a “maker” of many toads and frogs over my twelve years (317 and 314 respectively) I feel the need to increase my toading to being up to equal my frogging. Thus I need to turn three more people into toads.

Still there is something to be said about a good frogging. The smell of ozone in the air as green lighting from your finger dances through the air striking the target of your annoyance.

The last look of terror their human face will ever have.
The smell of wet as their excess mass steams away leaving them a frog.

Frogging also offers more color options, greens, yellows, bright blues and reds…

Not to take away from toading.

It’s a classic and classics deserver your respect.

I remember, I was three when I toaded my first person, it was…one of my father’s personal guards. He was guarding the door at the ministry of war during a meeting. I had just made a two headed bunny-squid and wanted to show my father what I have done.

Guard: Sorry your highness the Emperor cannot be disturbed.
Me: But I wanted to show him my bunny
Guard: What Bunny?
Me: This One (Shows bunny)
Guard: Merciful mother…What is that!
Me: That’s not nice…Mr. Bunny has feelings…Change!
Guard: Croak!
Me: Now Mr. Bunny is so depressed he needs a snack..look Mr. Bunny a fat toad!
Mr. Bunny: Gurggle-Chomp

OH the joy of child hood….. remembering that has made me nostalgic…so my quest is over…Toad it is.

And you "Short-lives" wonder why you annoy me.

It’s come to my attention (Not that I care) that some of you see me as some one dimensional villian constantly plotting the doom of humanity. That I’m nothing but my contempt for you and the spells I cast to show it.

This I believe is because most of you pitiful creatures see me as your superior (And rightly do) and focus on that rather than other aspects of my persona. You see me as the firm future ruler of your world grinding you (Literally in some cases) other my thumb with a smile on my face. And though you rightly should see me as such I feel the need to tell you there is more to me than your sovereign and subject of your awe and fear.

I have a sister whom most of you have yet to show proper respect despite the fact she is the Empress of my former world in exile (Like myself). She too could destroy you with a mere wiggle of a finger but chooses instead to walk among you pursuing often distasteful mortal goals (Like attending school to become a Chef and reading sappy romance novels).

I have friends both witches and dare I admit mortal. None of you qualify as such however so stop sighing your relief and return to your groveling. Chief among them is what is referred too as my BWFF, Annabelle Deville.

Like minded in deeds and magic as well as many hobbies she has proven to be a welcome addition to my life. Also like me she has a love of tea and various pastries pies and cakes.

After my sister and Annabelle comes my allies at school (Monica, Amber, Lilian, Rosa and Amy) who despite have proven their loyalty to me and loyalty is something I value over almost anything. They also tend to keep me entertained with the constant adventures they tend to get into.

Then comes Ian and I’ll say nothing about him other than he is loyal and refreshingly naive. Those who dare say he’s my boyfriend will spend the remaining moments of their lives as a grub worm.

As for hobbies I have many, a Princess must keep busy.

I enjoy playing the piano
Some of your music entertains me. Your so called classical music (especially Tchaikovskyi) and Jazz (Miles Davis and Billy Holiday being my favorites although for something upbeat Armstrong is nice)

I enjoy picking and arranging flowers.

I enjoy tasting new foods

I enjoy reading histories, fiction, (Just finished reading Canterbury tales…it reminded me a lot of home).

Speaking of things that remind me of home. Walking in central park and riding my broom through thunder storms.

Nothing is better than riding a broom through a thunder storm….

So keeping the above in mind and knowing that keeping me occupied would keep me from destroying one or more of you do you have a deviation or two I should try?? Music, books food?

The Princess awaits your answer

My future world, my rules.

Everyday you short-lives prove to me just how unfit you are to rule your planet.

A friend and fellow witch (Amy) spent some time the other day chatting about the environment and how much you’ve harmed it.

Air Pollution
Killing innocent beast and stealing their homes.
Cutting down trees.
Water pollution and so on.

You would think you would have learned not to sleep where you defecate…no.

But no worries, I’ve decided to help you fix your world when I take over. I will inact a few rules and spells to help do this. And yes there will be changes to the way you live but trust me, I know better.

1. Cut down a tree, become a tree.
2. Kill an endangered creature or kill one for sport, become that creature.
3. The destruction of all polluting technology, they didn’t have it on my home world, you don’t need it either. So find clean resources or go without.
4. Those caught polluting will be ground into dust and use as fertilizer.
5. Corporations involved in polluting will be turned into tree groves, park land or Ozone gas.

If I’ve missed something let me know.
I might shrink you and feed you to endangered animals for it, but then again I might not.

Obey Me
And we can make the world a better place.

Magical kingdom....I think not.

Dear mortals,

I feel as your superior in everyway it’s my duty to tell you things that you may not be ready to hear.

School is officially out for the summer respite. Though I’m loath to admit it I will actually miss my friends and I’m looking forward to meeting up with them mid summer at Witch-Con (I have no idea what it is by Monica assures me its cool).

But before that day of renewed camaraderie I will be taking a trip with my sister Millicent her beau Adam to a place called…Disney World. A so called magical kingdom.

Mortals…after some research I have determined, there is nothing magical about a kingdom lorded over by an over sized rodent his duck comrade and a dog like creature. (Whom nature is in question as the Rodent has a Pet dog….Is this “Goofy” some hideous hybrid?)

Only mortals, poor backwards creatures that you are would think such vile vermin was fit to rule a magical Kingdom. Further research shows that it’s also home to so called “Magical Princesses” whom magic seems to be their ability to annoy and survive long enough for some half-wit prince to save them.

Though my sister dosen’t know it I’ve decided to help the peons and pawns of this kingdom by removing its misshapen vermin leaders and eliminating its incompetent princesses and taking over as its ruler. After all I do need a summer home and my sister has often said I should use my power s in a more benevolent manner”

Looking over this kingdom I’ve decided to also remodel much of it starting with that eyesore of a castle.

The thought of it burning and the lamentations of its rat kings as he cries in horror bring a smile to face already.

The Weekend and Witch Moutntain

Sunday, the official first day in your human calendar and this one of my favorites at least this day past Sunday was. Sometimes a Princess needs her personal time. Time to just enjoy her own company, what passes for fresh air on your world and her own thoughts.

Because I passes my Curses test and had avoided mischief at school for nearly a week I was given a weekend pass. Saturday I spent with my sister, she cooked my favorite foods, we played some games from our home world (Who rules would just make your primate heads explode) and went to the movies.

I wanted to see Watchmen but your silly Mortal rules about movie ratings made that impossible without me destroying the theater ticketer and manager (Which my sister asked me not too). And thus I ended up watching Race to Witch Mountain.

Race to Witch Mountain review.

Dear Disney, if your going to do the story of my life, get it right….
My sibling is an older sister not a brother, we landed in New York nor near Las Vegas and who in the dark lady’s name is the cabby?

The Movie was trite and silly. Children from the other side of the galaxy (Like any creature in this universe could manage faster than light travel) arrive on earth seeking some silly cinematic mcguffin in order to stop some war. Run across Human muscle man cabby (contrived) and have many chases trying to get to their space trip and back home.

This Dwayne Johnson who remind me of the Rolzon at home is you’re typical Hero type who dosen’t want to be a hero but wants to be one….And the Children with the powers are utter idiots. All that power and brains the size of peas when it comes to using them.

Why is it Human Cinema all the people with special abilities are dolts and want to hide their powers? I swear If I was in this movie it would have been call War to Witch Mountain. Silly alien children…..

The following day (Sunday) I head out to Central park, find my special place (a part of the park I’ve magical looked away and only I or my sister can find or visit). I set out a picnic and for music I use a classical quartette I found playing in the park (Whom I shrunk and caged). It was a glorious day of music talking to the spirits a and wild magical creatures that live in my personal glade.

After a day of relaxation I then returned to the apartment packed a few things, said good bye and then return to school before the 9pm curfew.

Saving Witch Rosa

I could care less about the faith of a witch of this world. But it seems I managed to get entangled in the life of one.

After an “Unauthorized” visit to the schools cafeteria late at night for real ice cream (not the conjured kind) I and three other students were caught by the schools ghost kitchen servant who summoned the headmistress.

Things went down hill and as I promised my sister to be on my best behavior on campus I could do nothing but take the punishment dished out by our headmistress. The Punishment was however not what I expected.

We were sent via a teleportation gate from Maine to California to recruit a girl who had no idea about her magical legacy.

Suffice it to say the adventure that came allowed me a modicum of entertainment.

The new Girl, Rosa despite her lack of training and peasant upbringing has potential. Potential that may make her worthy of some personal magical tutelage from me.

The Other girls, they seem to be loyal and don’t totally annoy me. Which is different?

All in all
The Princess is amused.

Curses Class Test.

After a short stint in mortal school where I found no challenges in the classes I ‘m now at Willow-mistt a school for native witches.

Though some of the classes are easy a few I find challenging (and I do like a challenge).
Even though I have been cursing most my life my (Spells not profanity) Advanced Cursing under the guidance of Ms. LeRue has actually managed to teach me something.

Recently we had a test on sympathetic magic and I managed (No to my surprise) another perfect score but not without some study and practice.

Sympathetic magic is more than sticking pins and dolls but a matter of building magical link between the Proxy (representation of the subject and subject (target of the spell). This is done usually by bonding a part of the actual subject with the proxy, hair, fingernail or a drop of blood.

From Ms. LeRue I learned that’s not always needed. Through the use of naming magic one can link the subject and proxy by true names (Which most mortals use as their only names) allowing you to create a proxy quickly. This kind of proxy requires a bit more prep-work but the results are the same.

And for me opens up entirely new avenues of magical entertainment.

I demand Spring!

This Earth...This sad little world suffers from various problems. One of which is your seasons.
On my home world we had eight seasons some of which are not applicable but regardless they came on time.

One could set their clock by them. The Burning season came on the exact date every day and ended on that exact date. That's order

It seems on your world you're so backwards and primitive you depending on a burring rodent to tell you when spring comes. A rodent.....

I feel I must tell you. rodents are not the best soothsayers. Even if you turn a soothsayer into a rodent being a rodent lowers their precognitive skills
And let’s not get started on how mortals get sniffley and slimy during the prolonged and mismatched seasons. Why? Because your archaic primate biological clocks don't know what to do.

So in review, your world can't get four seasons right.

And after careful research I've discovered what had happened. global warming.
Not only do mortals listen to rodents for weather prediction they can't even take care of their world.

Luckily for you I have a cure for all of this. The world is getting warmer because of high population and human ignorance you say.

Why not turn humans into ice?
That lowers the population lessens the carbon footprint to 0
and cools things down.

Simple yes so simple even the human dullards of this mudball can understand it.

Making a better world for me-

Princess Lucinda

Witches are not the most social of beings. Even at Willow Mistt where I attend you rarely find a witch with more than a hand full of friends normally. Leave it to mortals to change that by infecting us with the social networking bug. No its no I’m not talking about silly your My Spaces or Facebooks, those silly sites would be too humdrum for a witch. A witch needs her own place where she can try to find like minded witches here age to communicate with and hopefully befriend (or destroy).

Magic Friends was created just for that and though I’m never the one to follow trends I thought I would give it a try. Millicent used her new camera to take a picture of me and I made a profile.

When my classmates at Willow Mistt discovered I was officially “Magic Friending” they started sending invites, some out of genuine loyalty, some out of fear of insulting me. After all who would dare not want to be my “Magic Friend” ?

Soon I started getting quick messages from people I knew in person and various sycophantic witchlings. It seems my fame among witches was far more reaching then I suspected. But with fame comes in the view of some Infamy and a few misguided witches thought they would second guess my royal status and my methodology with dealing with idiots.

They thought crossing me across the internet would could keep them safe….they were wrong. I’m no expert at Cybermancy but I have allies who are and with their help I found the fools who would challenge me and to quote my Classmate Lillian, delivered on to them the “Witch Slapping” of their lives.

…Nothing is more refreshing then the smell of smoldering moron in the morning.